i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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