i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
