i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
operation harelip BJ is a go
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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