Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
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