Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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