i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
