so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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