Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
