and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
