Cold hands, warm shart.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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