Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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