Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize