I checked into jail on foursquare
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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