Why does Corona taste like a burp?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
The beer is more important than you right now.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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