You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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