We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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