I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
