My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
my shit smells like andre
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
