so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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