wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Randomize
