Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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