Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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