rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
