I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize