Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
