What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Randomize
