Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
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