It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
