No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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