Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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