Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
