On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Be still, my beating vagina.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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