She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
