I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
