we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
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