It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
