did you get engaged???
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
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