just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
