Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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