I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize
