I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
