I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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