I feel like I'm in dance class right now
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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