I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
