I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
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