tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
