her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
