That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
