There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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