dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
