discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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