Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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