Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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