Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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