So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
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