last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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