Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I want her autograph on my taint
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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