look no pants
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
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