I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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